Why I refuse to be skinny.

Personally, I feel like if I was anything below a size 12 I would look stupid. No, this isn't me just saying that I don’t want to loose weight, this is me saying I don’t want to be a size 10 or below.

The thing is, I love my thick thighs, big boobs and the way my belly isn't flat. I want to loose weight, but I refuse to be skinny enough to be like a manikin. I know plenty of girls and boys who look hot as ever skinny. But frankly, my head is too round and my hips are too large, not to mention I am just too small in height to be skinny. Any ways, when I was younger I used to wish for a thigh gap, but now I'm older and slightly more wiser about my body image, I don’t think my body is capable of having one. You get a thigh gap from how wide your hips are (which also means for us lucky ladies, how tight or lose our bottom half is).

I don’t want to change the fact I have cellulite, even though I spent most of my school life hiding my bum cheeks in p.e. I wouldn't change the fact jeans never fit because my thighs are always that little bit bigger than the jeans and you get that horrible gap. When I lost all my weight my most precious assets started to shrink… bye bye boobs. Losing weight did make me feel unbelievable and I had so much confidence, but I had starch marks and saggy boobs at the age of 16.

This was me at Prom, my ideal weight!

In the summer of 2014, when I put on all of my hard earned weight I had just lots, plus another 8 pounds. I was still as confident as ever, probably even more. I soon figured out, I didn't need to be ‘thin’ to be happy, I just need to be happy. Alcohol, parties, greasy kebabs and sitting at home and eating crisps during my long holidays made it must worse. But I still felt fab. Even now, when I lose 3 pounds and put on 4, I still feel great.

My secret is to just accept the fact that not everyone can be ‘skinny’ and I certainly don’t want to be skinny. I would love to be back at the size I was at prom, but my life style has changed a lot since then. I get up at 6 every day and hardly ever have breakfast. I eat sweets during the day with Karl to keep me awake and nearly every week we will go kfc, McDonalds or nandos. I’m nearly 18, I don’t want to be worrying over what to eat. I want to be panicking at the fact my fake tan has develop horrible.

My other trick is, get a boyfriend or friend or girlfriend, anyone. Get people who accept you. I have friends who love me for who I am. I met Karl when I was ‘skinny’ and now I'm not skinny. But he is still my bestfriend. I met Dan when I was skinny and now I eat like a queen in front of him, but he doesn’t mind. And if your friends decide to tell you that you have put on weight or just put you down (this can be family too) tell them to go away, and eat a cream cake in front of them. It usually works for me.

I once dreamed of being skinny, of being like this one girl who I idolised. Now, all I want is to be able to eat a burger without all the filling dropping down to my pants.

You don’t need to be skinny to be happy, remember that.

Mwah

X x x

I just want to mention, I do want to loose weight, I just don't want to be societies idea of 'Thin'.