I'm nearly an adult...

My birthday is approaching a little faster than I would like. I'm turning 18, an age which I feel like I've been wanting to be since I turned 13. Think about it, I can buy my own alcohol, my own cigarettes even though I don't smoke and I can get a credit card, which I'm not because I know I'll abuse it. I thought I would have my life together, have some sort of order put into place and maybe at least have a boyfriend. Oh how wrong I was, how naive I was and how much my 13 year olds self diary makes me laugh. It's full of "He looked at me, that;s it I'm in love." or "When I grow up we are going to have kids." Okay Anna, calm yourself down kidda.

When you're a kid you want to grow up, you want to be a adult and do adult things. you're going to be disappointed if you think you wake up on your 13th birthday and re-enact the Kevin and Perry scene when he turns into a teenager and I'm pretty sure I won't walk down stairs on my 18th talking about politics, drinking a large amount of coffee and stop blushing when the word penis comes into conversation.

See, you grow up over time, some faster than others. I'm nearly an adult and I know naff all. I'm no way ready to leave and go to uni, I'm no way ready to pay tax or start paying an pension and it wasn't until last month my Mam told me we pay for water.

I thought by now I'd have learnt who Anna was, I don't mean that in a deep sort of way, or maybe I do. I thought I would have sorted out who I was, what I liked and disliked. But I don't, I still make the same mistakes I did when I was 11 and I still wear the same sort of clothes I did in 2009, judge me.

I thought that I would feel different, like I mean something to the world. But I suppose you don't grow old over night and I've always been one step ahead of everyone in my group. I've always had plans far more advanced than everyone else. I like plans I like time tables and I like to have goals. I'm known for being old, I'm known for doing things which 'normal' teens would be disgusted at. Because you know what? On a Friday night, I stay in and watch YouTube videos whilst on Skype. I've grew up before everyone, maybe that's not a bad thing.

I thought that things would be different than they are right now, I never thought when I was 13 that I would be best friends with a bunch of guys because guys are smelly. I never, ever thought I would be a Engineer. I always dreamt of the typical teenage life. leaving school, going to College and doing a typical course, passing my driving test first time and having a boyfriend called (insert my ultimate crushes name, I cant say his name because he will punch me.). Well I can safely say that none of that worked out, yeah I left school but I lost all of my friends in the mean time. Yeah I went to college and done a course, just in Engineering. I can drive, yes. Just not as in passed, I mean I do a pretty damn good reverse around a corner if I do say so myself. And well me and my crush are still apart, maybe it's for the best though, hey?

Things don't go to plan and I'm nearly 18 and my life is sill in pieces but I truly believe that it's just a jigsaw, waiting to be put together. I don't care how cliché that sounds, it's true.

I thought a lot of things would be different by the time I'm 18, I was wrong. Stop wishing you were 13 when you're 12, stop wishing you are 16 when you're 15 and stop wishing you are 17 when you're 16 because it turns out to be just as hard work being a year older. Because I've got a car, but I can't drive. I've got money for alcohol but I cant buy it.

Being 18 is going to be amazing yeah, I can go out in Newcastle with Corey and Dan and yeah I don't have to get others to buy me alcohol. But you know what? I bet I'll still get asked for ID when buying a scratch card.

Take this advice from a person who feels 80 but is only 17.

Mwah

X x x