Me at my heaviest - My big, fat story.

This post is very much inspired by the lovely Fabulous and Us, I'll give you the links below. For the past month or so, I have been feeling some what 'Meh' at myself and my weight. Some days I love having a belly and boobs and some days I hate having a belly and that I have fat, everywhere. Dear god I say boobs quite a lot, sorry.

11 Stone 12 pounds at Prom. My all time lightest!

To get me back on track, I looked at photos of me throughout my big, fat story. This blog was made for me to be truthful with everyone and myself. I hate talking about my weight and that number on the scales. Here we go.. At my heaviest I was 14 stone 4 pounds. My heaviest is now. I could say it is 14 stone 4 pounds of awesome or fun, but lets face it. That's bullshit.

Let me tell you about my weight loss story, which started 2 years ago. My little cousins where going to the gym and I got bribed into going, I hated it. I smelt, I was sweaty and most of all, I left the gym still a size 16 and not the size 10 I wanted to be. great! But going to the gym triggered something, I wanted to be thinner, healthier me. Most of all, I wanted to go back to school and tell that one boy in my class that I wasn't fat, I was sassy.
15th June 2014, I was eating silly to shift the last of my weight and going crazy with exams. But, I look thin!

For 6 weeks, I went to the gym 3 times a week for 2 hours each time, I started Slimming World and lost 12 pounds in 5 weeks, I was so pleased. My main goal was to get size 12 school trousers, which I did.. Just 3 weeks after I started school.

During school my weight fluctuated and at some points I wanted to give up and just eat cake. my friends were amazing, truly amazing and I cannot thank them enough. Thank you Lisa for convincing me not to give up, thank you Zoe for asking every Friday how I did, thank you my form tutor for making sure I wasn't eating shit in form. I went to prom a slim size 12 and for once in my life I wore shorts and my thighs didn't even bother me.

Then I left School.

I lost my motivation, I lost my goal because prom had been. A cake there, a Costa here. These all added up to me putting on around 2 stone in 3 months. I then started college and no one knew my story, so I ate and ate and ate. I would start again and fail and start again and fail.

So what's it like at my heaviest? So I feel horrible? Disgusting?

This is me now, Fab and not 'obese'.

I feel just like Anna, just now my boobs are bigger and my thighs are very close friends. But I feel better. I lost weight for some boy who called me fat and for some boy who I was madly in love with, who loves me just the same now I have more 'stuff'. Maybe not all boys wanted me to look like a VS model after all. Thank you for making me feel amazing every single day, You're not bad yourself!

I do want to loose weight, rather than looking at some scales, I want to look in a mirror and for one day to be totally happy with the picture I see. I want my belly to be flatter and my double chin to go away.

I want to be fitter, not thinner. I want to be happy, not hungry.

I am terrified to publish this blog, because people are instantly going to judge me based on my weight. But I have the most amazing set of friends and the guy I'm speaking to makes every ex I've ever had seem like a learning curve. If I can pluck up the courage to tell everyone my weight and that I'm happy. You can tell your crush you like them or whatever!

My message is to be happy, if that's 12 stone, 14 stone, a size 16 or being happy that you can swim more than 0.9 laps in a swimming pool! Don't let others tell you when to be 'weight happy' because that's a load of bollocks. Don't let others tell you when and when not to loose weight. Most of all, don't let some numbers on a machine determine how much you are worth.


X x x

P.s If you are loosing weight to be 'happier' in a relationship, please don't. This isn't just for girls, your partner should love you for you, not for the size of your clothes. I used to think that boys didn't like me because I was fat, but it's probably because I'm to cool for them!

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